Jokes

What do you call when a brothel offers a discount?
Hole-sale

I’m currently in a love triangle
I like this girl, this girl likes nobody, and nobody likes me.

I’m beginning to think that when you call customer service there’s never a time when they aren’t “experiencing higher than normal call volumes”

Switching my wife’s life support machine off was very difficult.

You try and fight off two doctors, a nurse and a security guard.

Woke up with a massive hardon this morning . Pissed it away !

Guys I need your help desperately. I’m in the middle of a huge argument with my wife and she just told me I’m right !!!
What do I do next?

For our holiday I told my wife I had booked a trip around the world

“Can’t we go somewhere else ” she said

– I’m your secret admirer.
– Why is it secret?
– My wife doesn’t have to find out.

I went to the hospital to solve the problem with hemorrhoids, but they could not help me. It is necessary to wait normally for a doctor; otherwise, the patients in the queue are completely incompetent.

To the genius who invented one ply toilet paper…

I’d like to shake your hand.