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Jokes

  • What makes the most sense

    So I plan on trading my truck in with my next auto purchase. I have an additional 30k saved. I assume it would make more sense to use the 30k to pay off my current to reduce the principle on my new auto at purchase instead of trading it in as is and dropping 30k as a down … correct?

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  • Tik tok tik tok tik tok

    r/GirlsInaGif•Posted byu/GirlsInaGif19 days agoThey told her she could be anything she wanted, so she became a clock. Tick Tock motherfukers. Tick Tock.
    View CommentsPlay0:000:00SettingsFullscreen1.1k points19 comments

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  • Most things in life are coin operated

  • Me_irl

  • What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

    EDIT: wow this really blew up thanks for gold

  • A tourist takes a trip to a rain forest

    In order to help guide him through the forest, he hires two local guides. About halfway through their trek they start to hear drums in the distance. The two guides look at each other with a concerned look. The tourist asks “Is something wrong?”. The first guide says “No sir, as long as drums play. We are safe”. The tourist, now slightly worried, asks “What happens if they stop?”. The guides look at each other again and continue walking.A few miles further on. The drums have gotten alot louder and faster, the two guides share another concerned look. The tourist asks again “Ok seriously, what’s wrong”. The first guide says “Nothing sir, as long as the…”The drums suddenly stop. The second guide screams and runs away in terror. The first guide shouts after him but it’s too late.The tourist, panicking now. Asks “What now?”The first guide looks at him, draws him in close and says “Now the drums have stopped. We must endure…the bass solo”

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  • How come you can’t work?

    Because I have a vision problem, I just don’t see myself working.

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  • Michael Jackson’s favorite fruit

    Boysenberry

  • What happened to my virginity when my uncle walked into the room?

    [removed]

  • Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…

    A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: “Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?”Don’t laugh, he won!

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