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What do you call a Jewish Woman’s boobs?
Joobs(Yes I stole this from South Park)
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Can anybody draw my character here? I just really want to see her drawn (◕‿◕)
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Oysters
A man named John walked into a seafood restaurant, with his friend Patrick.It was John’s turn to pay, so he let Patrick order.Patrick ordered so much food that the total was going up to the two-hundreds of dollars.John was done with this, so he barged in and told the person at the counter:“Hey, I order Oysters Kilpatrick”
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OC. Nelly was busted with over a pound of solid crystal meth on his tour bus
I guess that’s where he got all of his andele in his E.I.. UH OOOOH!!!
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Saying “twelfth” slowly, pronouncing every letter as you read it, you will then realize how fucked up that word is.
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What did the man with colon cancer say when he was on wheel of fortune?
I’d like to buy a bowel.
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What do you get when cross Elton John with a sabertoothed tiger?
I don’t know, but you better keep it away from your ass
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What is that dorsal fin thing on the roofs of a lot of cars I see towards the back?
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A fisherman and his wife had two children: a boy and a girl.
They were deciding what to name the children, when the fisherman noticed that every time they stood on the balcony, the boy looked towards the ocean and the girl looked away from the ocean. So the boy was named Towards and the girl was named Away.Years later, the fisherman decided to take Towards and Away on their first fishing trip. A week after they left, the fisherman came back completely alone.”What happened to our children?” asked the fisherman’s wife.The fisherman burst into tears. “It was ghastly,” he said. “Three days into our voyage, an huge fish swallowed Towards whole. We pulled the enormous fish out of the ocean and cut it open, but our sweet little boy was already dead. We figured that at least we had caught a whopper, and the fish fed us for the rest of the trip.””That must have been one big fish,” said the wife.”You think that fish was big?” replied the husband. “You should have seen the one that got Away!”
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My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.
“Son, you’re going to have to stop money laundering.”
Jokes
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