Skip to content

Jokes

  • A waiter brings dinner to the table

    The patron remarks, “Why is your thumb on my steak?””I didn’t want it to fall on the floor again!”

  • My ex is upset that I tell people she performs multiple handjobs every day for £5 a pop…

    Apparently, the proper description for her job is “manicurist,”

  • Hey hey ho ho this depression has got to go.

  • I told all my friends to stand in a line and punch me…

    There is no punchline.

  • Isn’t it so fucking cool that birds are dinosaurs?

    Like you look at the history books and go back millions of years to the dinos. There are massive herbivores the size of buildings. There are carnivores who could gobble you up in one bite. Sea monsters that make the loch ness look like a goldfish. Insane creatures that fullfill so many different forms.And the only one left are the birds. The cute little creatures flying through our skies. Sometimes pooping on our cars. Sometimes they’re our best friends.You know those cute videos of a baby duck following it’s human owner because it loves them so much? THAT is a dinosaur.

  • You often hear jokes about white sugar, but you don’t get many jokes about brown sugar…

    Demerara.

  • JOKESTER

    Relationships are a just like Game Of Thrones, without the Thrones

  • What do you call a stupid element?

    A boron

  • JOKESTER

    It’s not true love if he doesn’t text you after his wife falls asleep

  • If China ever adopts blockchain, it will be the death of BTC.

    It seems that BTC fans like to point at any blockchain-interest out the Chinese Government as being “good for Bitcoin”. This is so very wrong.While China may very well implement a blockchain-based currency at some time in the future, there is a zero point many zeros chance that it will be BTC or ETH or any of the other currently “popular” traded cryptos. There are two absolute reasons why this is the case.China’s crypto will not be anonymous. It will have the intrinsic ability for the Chinese government to track any transaction and identify the endpoints.BTC already mostly belongs to other people. China is not going to hand over $130 trillion dollars to the existing owners of BTC to buy a working currency. Why would they even contemplate it when they can just create their own from scratch?Of course there’s also the transaction rate. BTC currently limited to 4.6/sec, ETH maxes out at 15/sec. But those two alone mean that if China’s government ever does embrace crypto for real, BTC is totally and utterly dead. Go bury it.