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Why did Tulsi Gabbard cross the road?
She didn’t. She’s stuck in the middle.
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What’s it called when an alcoholic Christian dies from drinking?
Deliverance
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Do you say either or either?
Either.Yeah, but which one do you say?
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How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
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It makes sense that the Right to Bear Arms is the 2nd amendment
If the 1st amendment is, “I should be able to say whatever the fuck I want”Then it makes sense that the founding fathers said, “Oh ya, I should probably have a gun too”
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A recently-married man is serving in the Navy.
He is on a ship near an island a long way from home, and he knows he will be there a long time. He sends a letter to his wife saying that there are lots of young and beautiful girls on the island. Could she send him something to distract him from them? She sends him an accordion with a note saying “Learn to play this.”Six months later, he arrives home. He says to his wife, “I can’t wait to get into bed with you!” She replies “First, let’s see how well you play that accordion.”
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What do bowling pins & white people have in common?
They’re rednecks
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I couldn’t believe my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there!
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I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
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I like my coffee how I like my slaves..
Dark and strong.
Jokes
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