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Jokes

  • doesn’t work

    I don’t understand some politicians… “Government doesn’t work. Elect us and we will prove it. “

  • Last day

    I have got to stop living every day like it could be my last. The hangovers are killing me…

  • losing

    I remember my Dad telling me, “Son. Only ever gamble what you don’t mind losing.”

    It was the last thing he said to me before handing me over to my new “Dad”.

  • nice name

    I always wanted to name my first daughter after my first love…
    but my wife thinks that “nutella” is not the right name for her!!

  • what was the question

    Alcohol isn’t the answer. It just makes you forget the question.

  • snuck

    Whoever snuck the s in fast food is a clever bastards.

  • give up

    If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I’d probably give up.

  • probably

    People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

  • autocorect

    My android autocorrected “wish you were here” to “wish you were beer” . i left it. it’s true.

  • available

    Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I’m available.