Jokes

Do you guys believe that there is a spiritual/magickal significance of certain mole or freckle locations? For example, I have a mole at the sole of my foot. Does that necessarily mean anything?

I said I wasn’t being very regular about it.

They go to the doctor to have the baby checked up.Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.Dad: what’s the good news please.Doctor: your son can park wherever he wants.

The wizard tells them “When you climb those trees,whatever you ask for will be at the top waiting for you.” The first guy climbs and yells “Money!” and he becomes rich. The second guy yells “A boat full of money!”,and he uses the boat to leave the island The third guy climbs the tree and says “Shit! I don’t know what to ask for”

Needles to say, she was sattisfied

They used to play with wooden toy pirates after school, using ventilation shafts in each others’ houses as their place to get away from their family issues.They used to play in these tunnels for years, until eventually they grew too old for this. However, they still stayed friends, and after a few more years started dating.One night, they went to bed together, and the girl was surprised at how good the boy was in bed, so she asked him how.He responded: “Well, after years of playing with wooden seamen, I can found my way around the shafts pretty well.”

So, I’m at the doctors and this person sits next to me and says:”why so glum chum”? Told him to fuck up and went and sat on the other side of the room. People can say the most insensitive things before thinking. Normally they come from people who don’t have or understand depression. His comment made me feel worse and now I just don’t want to go out again. Please be careful what you say to someone who has depression. Think before you speak or just don’t say anything. Now I’m suicidal again.

if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re “doing a good job” if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”