Jokes

I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends and lovers before me.!

She always calls me her sixty second lover.!!

I Just got fired from Google

Because I yelled Yahoo! after completing my morning Sudoku at the office

How do you get an fat person in your bedroom?

Piece of cake

I’d be a terrible couple’s therapist. I’d be like, “have you tried anal?”

2 married ladies are having lunch in a coffee shop…

One lady whispers ‘I’m getting a boob job’

2nd lady: ‘That’s nothing, I’m getting my assh*le bleached’

1st lady says: ‘Really? I can’t imagine your husband as a blonde’

I went to a pet store today and put a large “CHAMELEON” sign in front of an empty cage.

Stand back and watch the fun.

Me – “We’re having a baby!”

Friend – “Aww, is it a girl or a boy?”

Me – “Yes, what else could it be..?”

I remember when I first started dating my wife, I got a hard-on just watching her eating a banana.

Now after ten years of marriage, I only get aroused if she starts choking on it.

2 married ladies are having lunch in a coffee shop…

One lady whispers ‘I’m getting a boob job’

2nd lady: ‘That’s nothing, I’m getting my assh*le bleached’

1st lady says: ‘Really? I can’t imagine your husband as a blonde’

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet

I asked my 15 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.