Jokes

They say the sea is salty from the tears of sailors.
After being on a ship for months with only men, I can assure you it’s not from their tears.

Tits – natural anti-stress balls! The irony is that they come attached to the most effective thing to create stress!

I have a foot fetish…
I have tried using meters but it just doesn’t work for me.

Ladies…No guy has ever said…
I’d screw her, if her eyelashes were a little longer.

What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at a show
“I don’t want fat people to feel uncomfortable at my gigs. So next time, buy two seats”

I came for an interview … And fell asleep on the couch. I say: “See how quickly I adapt to a new place.”

I lost my job as a wine taster.
I was fired for not drinking on the job.

People who don’t eat cheese because they are lactose intolerant…
…need to learn to be more accepting of different cultures

I attended a meet called “How Stop Taking Things Literally”.
“What brings you here?” asked the host on my first day.

I said, “My legs.”