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I hate people who take drugs
like policemen and customs officers.
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What are your phone backgrounds?
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My grandmother, who is a chef, says that I must always eat my mistakes.
I am a surgeon.
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What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he found out his school was organizing a show and tell about classical music ?
I’ll be Bach.
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At the funeral
Man: Do you mind if I say a word?Widow: No, please do.Man: Clears throat and says: plethoraWidow: Thank you. That means alot.
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You mess with the elf, you get killed yourself
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What’s the best type of cheese?
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The kids from The Polar Express must have come down with a nasty cold, if not worse, shortly after Christmas. Going to the North Pole in nothing but your pajamas is a terrible idea if you wanna live a long and healthy life.
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Yes I get all the cool numbers- 420 is a weed thing, 69 is a sex thing…
and 9:45 is bedtime.
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cursed_offering