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Food
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The waitress asked me if I was familiar with ”Farm to Table” dining.
I told her I was more experienced with fast food and “Table to Toilet” dining.
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Why did the grinch rob the liquor store?
He was in need of some holiday spirit
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[xbox] [h] dueling dragons [W] Any painted shattered
[removed]
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How do you have a long lasting marriage?
Don’t get caught.
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Some friends went out caroling dressed as Star Wars characters.
They were LARPing all the way.
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How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Because he read the weather forecast you idiot
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What was Mother Teresa’s favourite sex position
Missionary
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I am so forgetful that I always forget to pack my calculator before my math tests. But I am so smart that I have only failed them a few times…
So few that I can count on my fingers
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You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout.
SON: MOM! DAD THREATENED ME!WIFE: stop scaring our son.ME: I’m just singing Christmas songs to him.WIFE: aww okSON:ME: he knows when you are sleeping.