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Students of Reddit, what is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you in the middle of a test?
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What’s worse than ants in your butthole?
Uncles.
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What language does a male barista speak?
Hebrew.
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Being a Genie is so much fun.
Last week a kid wished his pets could live as long as him. So I made his parents anti-vaxxers.
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“Would you circumcise my son?”
Rabbi: “How old is he?””Five.”Rabbi: “Are you kidding? That’s way past the usual cut off date.”
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I’m dreading January…
[removed]
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Why did Logan Paul not give rice gum a hi five?
Because he likes to leave asians hanging
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Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender stops him in advance, “We don’t serve noble gases around here.”Helium doesn’t react.
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I just watched A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart.
What he’s doing round my house I don’t know.
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Little Johnny was annoying his mom so she sent him to the next house over where they were building a new house.
She said, “Johnny go watch the men working and come back and tell me what you learned.”So Johnny went and watched the construction workers work all day and then he came home. Johnny’s mom asked him what he learned and he told her he learned how to put up a door. She asked him to tell her how and he said….“First you throw that son of a bitch up and of course the god damn architect didn’t size the frame right. So you shave off a cunt hair on the left and a cunt hair on the bottom and BAM it fits in like a whore in a brothel.”His mom proceeded to lose her mind and then sent him to his room to wait until his dad came home. His dad came home and asked Johnny what happened. Johnny explained to his dad that his mom sent him to the construction site and asked what he learned. Johnny’s dad asked what he learned and Johnny said he learned to put up a door. Perplexed, Johnny’s dad asked how you put up a door. Johnny said…“First you throw that son of a bitch up and of course the god damn architect didn’t size the frame right. So you shave off a cunt hair on the left and a cunt hair on the bottom and BAM it fits in like a whore in a brothel.”Johnny’s dad immediately lost his mind and said, “Johnny go out back and get me a switch!”Johnny replied, “Fuck you! That’s the electrician’s job!!!”
Jokes
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