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One supposedly goes to Heaven for treating others well. Then God sends some of those “others” to Hell, you know, as He would if He wanted them treated well.

That’s why I have a furnace in my basement. I just throw people in. Doin the Lord’s work.Others believe you go to Heaven simply by believing Jesus died for your sins and by asking forgiveness. By the way, what does it mean that Jesus died for your sins? It means that literally everyone has broken God’s rules, either because He gives us that inclination, or even worse, we were born in sin without having made a single decision yet. And God just can’t handle all those broken rules without somebody being punished. And being the gracious guy that he is, he naturally put Jesus in time out, right? Oh no, I forgot, this praiseworthy fellow demands pain, blood and death. Oh thank you Lord for fulfilling your bloodlust with your son’s murder.