right arm
Girl: Do you play tennis? Me: Why? Girl: Well, your right arm seems a lot more firm than your left. Me: Yeah I play tennis
thefun
tip
My wife told me to leave a tip for our waitress. “OK” I said, motioning to the waitress, “don’t ever get married”
android
“yea you can use my charger, mine is full” -no Android user ever
last meal
I’m having a relaxing bath and I think my girlfriend is making me a sandwich! YES! I assume anyways since she’s bringing the toaster into… Read More »last meal
NO
*Drives into drive-thru* May I take your order? No. *Drives away.*
stupid
I was painting my room with my brother when I realised. he’s not a very good brush.
huge…
Q. Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? A. Huge tits.
every picture
I don’t get why people say, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is when you were younger.
someday I will…
I propose we add a day to the week and call it “someday”. Just imagine all the stuff that would get done on that day.
name
James: My name is Bond. James bond. Dumbledore: My name is Dumbledore. Brian dumbledore. Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian… Read More »name