chuck
when Britney spears sang “Hit me baby one more time” she wasn’t talking to chuck norris cause if chuck Norris hits someone there isn’t another… Read More »chuck
thefun
weird
Giving a girl flowers is weird… “here, I killed these for you… I saw them, and, they reminded me of you so… I killed them.… Read More »weird
numbers
Husband: Honey, how many men have you slept with? Wife: 30…. Husband: I wish you’d have been a virgin when I married you. Wife: I… Read More »numbers
I am
Immature. A word used by boring people to describe fun people.
ATM asks
ATM asks if I want to donate to charity. Sure! Donate my transaction fee.
sense
It would just make a lot more sense if the devil was a woman.
before
I have to exercise real early in the morning. Before my brain has a chance to figure out what I’m doing.
scanning
I just sneezed then my laptop said ‘Scanning for viruses’. WTF
Monday
It’s Sunday today, and if you are listening really carefully, you can hear how Monday is sharpening it’s claws.
lipstick
My wife found lipstick in my pocket. I told her straight up that I was cheating on her………..there was no way I was gonna tell… Read More »lipstick