thefun

Logic: 1.The Government can access any personal info sent over smartphones. 2.Teenagers send each other nudes. 3. The Government is full of giant pervs.

The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. …Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.

Someone once said to me, “You’re insane! You should be in an institution!” I said to them, “I’m married” You know what they say, marriage… Read More »institution

Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.

I wish I didn’t buy the cheapest GPS they had. It’s just a woman’s voice, telling me to pull over and ask for directions.

Me: is there a problem officer? Cop: I noticed the vehicle swerving a lot. Me: I had 8 beers officer. Cop: that’s no excuse to… Read More »no excuse

I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people that send me a dollar.

Women may not hit harder, but they do hit lower.