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fired

One day a man returns home to his wife telling her that he was fired from his job at a deli mart. His wife asked why and he said, “after all the years I have worked there, I have always wanted to stick my penis into the meat grinder, and today was the day I completely lost my patience and finaly stuck it in there.
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rules

McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”

regret

After spending 20 minutes trying to get my girlfriends bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I’d never put it on now

confusing

I need to delete some of my fake dating profiles. It’s gotten so confusing I just met myself at Starbucks.

unbelievable

You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?

Great

You know the sex was great when your room looks like a scene from ghostbusters. Stuff thrown everywhere, and covered in slime.

asking

Got stopped by a policeman today. “Any idea how fast you were going back there?” He said “I’ll ask the questions”

advice

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

rates

How Girls Rate Guys: (Looks + money + humor + intelligence) So if you score a 0 on looks and humor, but have a 1… Read More »rates