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thefun

my eyes are here

I know how women feel, I’ve had pair of breast tattooed on my forehead and now it’s like… Hellooo, my eyes are down here!

I am..

Grown up pandas eat for 12 hours a day. In related news, it turns out I’m not fat. I’m a panda.

jealous

Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!

too much

Me: ‘I”ve decided to stop studying.” Mom -”How come?” Me-”I heard that that someone was shot dead, because he knew too much.”

excuse

heres an excuse for bald men: its not a bald spot it’s a solar panel for a sex machine

movie reviewer

When I go to the movies alone, I take a clipboard so everyone thinks I’m a professional movie reviewer and not an awkward friendless loner.

mistake

I sent texts to the wrong people. Now my wife thinks I’m gonna fuck her, and my girlfriend thinks I work late.

dick

A psychiatrist was conducting group therapy with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” the doctor observed. To the 1st mother,… Read More »dick