thefun

Of course I’m a medical professional, and what do you mean your previous gynecologist never performed a “taste test” ?

My mate told me that his girlfriend talks in her sleep. “I know” probably wasn’t the best answer.

Dinner table etiquette help needed: I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?

I’m drunk so much tequila last night I woke up speaking Spanish this morning

Doctor: Do you smoke? Me: Only when I drink Doctor: How often do you drink? Me: Yeah, I smoke

Last night my wife found me in the pub, threw a pint over my head, and called me a ‘fucking cock’. Every year she has… Read More »anniversary

I’ve been having an affair with a film director’s wife. Yesterday he caught us in bed together. He was furious. I said to him, “Look,… Read More »scene

If only God can judge us than Santa has some explaining to do.

When we break something- 5%- Fix it. 10%- Tell someone that you broke it. 85%- Fix it just enough so that the next person who… Read More »statistical

Best break-up line: I get so emotional when your not around.. I call that emotion Happiness.