thefun

tip

A taxi driver asked me “Aren’t you going to give me a tip? I replied “Of course, Don’t work too long into the night”

My buddy asked me, “Do you know how the Native Americans said hello?” So I say, “How?” “Oh, you already knew.”

Pretty sure I know what my wife’s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, “A 3-way?” she got all angry like I ruined… Read More »surprise

tHis is A VEry Serious tEXt post WITH no hidden MEaning.

If the earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn’t that make every country a third world country?

The economy is so bad Mcdonalds employees are asking customers, Can you afford fries with that?

I bought my girlfriend a smart phone. It calls 911 as soon as she starts her car.

I can’t stand it when women say “I bet you say that to all the pretty girls.” Of course I fucking do. Don’t you use… Read More »same resume

I had a fairytale childhood. My Grandma was eaten by a wolf.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.