Sorry for the formatting, my first ever post and its from my cellphone.So a couple of months ago it was announced after 20 years with same company I would be made redundant. This was meant to be a good thing as i could spend the summer holidays with our daughter (5) who had started school for 2 weeks then hit the summer holidays. I’ve never had a chance to have time off with her before. Instead my wife announces we are going to China (where she grew up and her parents still live). She knows I do not enjoy visiting, especially mid winter. She talked me in to it by saying we would travel, which I am keen to do, great wall and terracotta warriors specifically mentioned. Once the trip was booked she says.. “oh we wont be able to see those things the weather makes travel hard, but we will do day trips out to other cities”. Even that I could handle, but the day we arrive she days we wont be doing that either. What happened was just as I feared (and as usual) I’m left to look after daughter in a small apartment in winter, while my wife relaxes in her old room, watching tv, making models and lego (her hobbies), being pampered by her parents and having lunches with her friends. I had organised to return 5 days early to home, knowing I would want some time too. It is now a few days until I leave and she has handede a list of chores to do like wash our house, move furniture, stuff she wants done, and will take most of my time. I said no, she will have had a months holiday doing everything she loves, while my few days are filled by tasks she wants… I also pointed out she had denied me a month of summer holidays with our daughter (yes ive had lots of time in China with her, but stuck in a small apartment vs parks and playgrounds back home is not even close to the same). I am now getting the cold shoulder and feel so isolated in a strange boring place. Am I the asshole for wanting a few days to myself after the last couple of months I’ve had?Update: Hey all thanks for the comments so far. Just to clarify, I agreed to the holiday believing we would travel out of town. This is not usual behaviour from my wife, hence I am so caught out, and am unable to travel myself as I can speak very little Chinese. I also have a new job lined up in the new year.Further update: Hey all thanks for your comments and feedback. To clarify, we are staying with my in-laws. We visit China regularly, and they visit us each Chinese New year, and of course have taken the little one out the the malls and local area. Major learning for me on description in my posts. Also we live in the southern hemisphere, hence summer holidays atm.That said I take on what people say about putting my foot down and could have owned the situation much better. Have talked it out and agreed to tackle the chores together when everyone is back. Apparently the planned trips fell through and she just majorly downplayed it, falling back in to her comfort zone. I’ll take a more active role in planning our next trips here.Another update: Thank you again for the feedback, for those who think this is a bogus post, have added a pic link taken out the window this morning (not that it proves too much, but hey). We are in Shanghai, so not isolated but have done this area to death. Making the most of what I have (I should have made that clearer) but it is limited, was just annoyed to then be asked to give up my own small amount of time after how things ended up here. As I say above, have now talked it through.Ok Google drive was folly, open to an easier way to share in future….removed link, not that fussed if not believed.Last post here.. again thank you it’s been great reading the comments and I’m trying to take them all on. Have a great Xmas all.
AITA for saying no to major chores while wife enjoys holiday overseas?
- by thefun