“9-1-1, what is your emergency?””Oh my God, it’s my wife – she done been gored by a hog, she’s bleedin’ some real bad! Send help!””Calm down sir, and tell me where you are””I’m at 560 Eucalyptus Drive””Can you spell that for me, sir?””U… er… E, U… er… U… … Hang on a second, I’m gonna drag her down to Oak Street.”