Jokes

Teacher: “Why were you absent yesterday? Were you sick?”
Me: “Yeah, i was sick with Clinomania.”
Teacher: ” Oh, okay. Excused.”
Clinomania:(n) excessive desire to stay in bed.

Mom: “Shouldn’t you be cleaning your room?”
Me: “Shouldn’t you be in the Kitchen?”
I’ve never been hit so hard.

I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.

I got sent out of class once at school. The teacher shouted at me, “what would your parents say if I called them?”
“Umm… Hello?”

Seriously, what if the astroid that hit Earth and killed all the dinosaurs was a UFO…….
……. and we’re the aliens……

Is it just me or the words “Lawyer” and “Liar” sound a bit too familiar….??

My wife said that I should use the term ‘make love’ instead of ‘fuck.’

What the make love is she talking about?

Men look at a woman’s behind and go “Wow, what an ass!”

Women look at a man’s face and think the same…

The leaning tower of Pisa is in Italy.
I guess you could say it’s…. italicized.