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die hard
I hope when Bruce Willis dies it’s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read “Bruce Willis Died Hard”
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cookies
Why do fat people spend all day browsing the internet?
To get more cookies.
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browsers
Google chrome: “what are we?!”
firefox: “browsers!”
opera: “browsers!”
Google chrome: “what do we want?!” firefox: “fast internet!” opera: “fast internet!” Google chrome: “when do we want it?!” internet explorer: “browsers!”
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the same
When I say I want someone with a sense of humor, I really mean I want someone with MY sense of humor.
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like most people
Do you think regular dogs hate police dogs like most people hate policemen?
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free wifi
Today I found out the name of my neighbors cat…
In other news, I now have free internet.
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saddest
Saddest thing I’ve ever read on the internet:
“When I’m feeling lonely I dont shave one of my legs so it feels like I’m sleeping next to a man.”
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recording
The Japanese flag is recording everything.
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fashion week
It’s Fashion Week in New York.
The time of year when today’s top models show off the latest eating disorders.
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prank
I always wanted to super glue a $20 to the floor in the revolving door.
Jokes
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