Jokes

Boudreaux walked past a pet shop every day on his way to work. He saw this nice looking parrot and decided to ask the shop owner about it. The shop owner said, “ well he’s a very good parrot and is very smart, but no one wants him because he has no legs.” . Boudreaux asked, “how does he stay on his perch then?”. The shop owner said ,” Well he wraps his pecker around the perch.” Boudreaux, feeing bad for the bird buys him and brings him home. Boudreaux would come home and the bird would tell him about the day and update him if he got a call or any packages delivered.”One day Boudreaux comes home to find the bird flapping around in the bottom of his cage. He asked the bird, “My god what happened?”. The bird, out of breath says,” Boudreaux you won’t believe it, There was a knock at the door and your wife answered, It was the postman. He came in and immediately he and your wife started taking off their clothes!”, said the parrot. “ Oh my god what happened next?!?!”, said Boudreaux. “I don’t know my dick got hard and I fell off the perch”

One is avoiding sex, and the other is avoiding sects.

A man can get to sleep with the light on.

It’s seven.

You dont have to cause x gonn give it to ya!

“Heights?”“No, dying alone.”

A $20 bill.

Newton’s first law

“That sounds great!”“Good, because we are breaking up.”-Jimmy Carr

just imagine how Jesus must feel.