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I said, “This shit needs to stop.”

Unfortunately, my dick.

Troops under the command of Baghramyan are the first to reach the Baltic. To present his success more pretentiously, the Armenian general personally poured a bottle of water from the Baltic Sea and ordered his adjutant to fly with this bottle to Moscow to Stalin. He flew. But a setback happened: while he was flying, the Germans counterattacked and threw Baghramyan’s away from the Baltic coast. By the time the adjutant arrived in Moscow, the HQ was already aware of the fail, but he himself did not know: there was no radio in the plane. And so the proud adjutant enters Stalin’s office and pathosly proclaims:- Comrade Stalin, General Baghramyan sends you Baltic water!Stalin takes the bottle, twirls it in his hands for a few seconds, returns it to the adjutant and says:- Give it back to Baghramyan, tell him to pour it out where he took it.

Reptile dysfunction…

I would be a tragedy. :'(

RasPutin

Husband: To be honest I didn’t even know she sold them.

Never going to have sex in the middle of the highway anymore.