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A horse goes into a bar
“Hey horse, why the long face?””I’m not a horse, I’m Adrien Brody”
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How do you fart in another language?
You eat foreign food.
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How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four. One to actually do the job, one to try and help, one to fuck shit up, and one to record the full thing.Btw, I’m American, just for ref.
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A Blonde Phone Call to Mom
Hi Mom, it’s me. “Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware store, looking for a drill.””Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they’ve let me make one phone call, and that’s why I’m calling you.””Oh my god, what happened?””Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face.””What on earth . . . Why did you do that?””Well, it really wasn’t my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her
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How much does a doctor that performs circumcisions make?
Nothing, he just keeps the tips.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from all the reposts on this sub…
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WIFE: I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided I’m just not a kid person.
ME: Hey… [taking her hand] the word you’re looking for is “adult.”
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I had a mild case of insanity.
The doctors said I should stop playing INSAN-D.
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What happened to the arrogant red-shirt who demanded his Star Fleet Captain beam him up?
He was hoisted by his own Piccard.
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Can I get the Minty Code if I buy something from Gamestop online?
I was wondering if I could still get the Minty Pickaxe code if I buy something from the Gamestop website. I want to buy $10 vbucks and would like to see if I can get the code that way. Or is it only available in the physical store? I am indifferent to pickaxe either way, buy it wouldn’t hurt to try to get it. Also would I have to somehow specify that I want the code or do they send to code with any Fortnite related purchase?
Jokes
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