Jokes

A few days ago I was on a plane from St Petersburg, Russia to Helsinki (I am from San Francisco) and was seated next to a 15 year old Russian Girl. We chatted a bit and then realized we both had Ukes in our backpacks in the overhead compartment. Down they came, and after a little international educational tablature exchange, it was all Mele Kalikimaka for 5 minutes. Our “thawing-out-the-cold-war- for-Christmas” gift to the rest of the plane. There was applause. Ukes bfore Nukes and a Mele Kalikimaka to all, and good night.

It was one star.

Flat.

Little John will have visits in her home. So, the mother tell him: -“Little John, this night we will receive visits. Please, whatever it happens you don’t do nothing and try not to talk. She is my boss and bring her son who don’t have any ears!!!”LJ- “don’t worry old lady!”M-“WHAT?”LJ- “Mom.. mom”So, the night is coming and they arrive …Boss: hello. This is my son Jack.Mom: hello Jack how are you!LJ: I hope you have a good eyesight!Mom and boss make a eye contact with him but ignore it…

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Angry and in a fuss, he stomps around his living wondering who took it. He loves his team and he misses his hat.So he hatches a plan.”I know, ill go to church, during sermon ill sneak to coat check. For sure someone is gonna have the same hat and i’ll just take it. Ya that’ll show em!”He arrives at church and sits through the sermon without ever finding his oppurtunity to strike.Skip some time ahead when everyones left church, the priest sees the man sitting alone, head down in one of the rows of seats.Priest: “whats wrong my son”Man: “i must confess, i came here angry with the intentions of stealing someone’s hat, but after your sermon i felt silly and came to reason”Priest “was it when i was talking about not coveting your neighbours goods?Man “no no… its when you talked about adultery… it dawned on me where i left my hat”

It’s staggering.