Jokes

Lieutenant*miltary people will get this one. It was told to me while I was in the Navy. Just popped into my head.

What do you call an office type regi?Registration

They’re both named Donald!

c and y

An 80 year old man gets a letter from the IRS saying to call their office as soon as possible. The old man picked up the phone and called the IRS and an agent says that he noticed some irregularities with his money where there was a large amount of funds going in and out of his account and he needs to come in the next morning at 9 am to discuss it.The old man says no problem he’ll be in at 9. After hanging up the phone he takes a bit to think about it and decided he should probably have a lawyer present with him so he calls his lawyer to have him accompany him.The following morning the old man and the lawyer arrive at the IRS office where the agent sits down and says that he will have to do an audit for the mans source of income. The old man says well that is because he loves to gamble on damn near anything. The IRS agent says oh really? The old man says that’s right, and I’ll bet you 5 thousand dollars I can bite my eye. The IRS agent says ok, I’ll take that sure bet.The old man pulls out his fake eye and puts it in his mouth to bite it then replaces it back in his eye socket. The IRS agent goes you son of a bitch. The old man say now hold on a second, I’ll let you get your money back and more. I bet 7500 that I can bite my other eye. The IRS agent thinks a moment and not seeing a cane or seeing eye dog the agent says you’re on.The old man pulls out his false teeth and using his hand bites his other eye. The IRS agent is stunned because once again the old man has bested him. The old man says now I can’t just let you be down just like that I will give you one last chance. 15 thousand dollars says for you to move your trash can to the other side of the room and I will stand over hereI bet 15 thousand that I can piss in that trash can and not get a single drop anywhere but in that garbage can. The IRS agent says fine, there is no possible way the old man can do that. So the old man unzips and pisses all over the IRS agents desk. The IRS agent smiles because he won his bet but noticed the lawyer who went pale and and tells the old man you son of a bitch. The IRS agent asks what is wrong to which the lawyer says that on the way in the old man bet him 100 thousand dollars that he would piss all over the agents desk.

Unfortunately, none of them work

He stares, “oh shit, I forgot to feed my dogs”

They know how to make a bad decision, and then stick to it.