Jokes

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But when he did, holy shit!

She: it’s INVENT-ryMe: no it’s inven-TORYShe: I ain’t having no Tories in my mouth.

The plumber was coming over to repair a pipe while the family where all at work. They had agreed where to leave the key, and the plumber was instructed to ignore the dog Killer and not to speak to the parrot Polly under any circumstances.The plumber locked himself inn, ignored Killer and got down to business. Immediately the parrot started swearing and mocking the plumber. After a while he got annoyed and shouted out to the parrot – Oh, shut up you stupid bird! From there the argument escalated fast and didn’t end before the plumber held up his biggest monkey wrench. – If you don’t quiet down now, you’ll get a taste of this. The parrot closed its beak for a moment, then stared screaming even louder – Killer, Killer, take him

A Hoax

There was a scientific study conducted on various species of ants investigating the correlation between their heights and how their feet operate. Shorter ants were found to have little nubs on the end of their feet that operate similarly to toes on humans and primates. This was not seen in larger species, It was determined, you see, that they lack toes in taller ants.

and then shit got wild

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data