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Two fish are in a tank
One fish says to the other and says, “How the fuck do you drive this?”
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Why did the condom fly across the room??
It got pissed off!
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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
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I want to tell you about a girl who only ate plants…
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
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My taxi driver asked me what I did for a living.
Me: work as a web developer and also part time as a graphic designer.Driver: I don’t like working for anyone, I like to be my own boss.Me: that’s cool, turn left ahead after the signal.
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How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux!
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Someone that’s never had sex is called a virgin, but what do you call someone that’s never bust a nut?
A liar.
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What do you call a blind German?
A Not See
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I heard the atheists are trying to get tax exempt status now
they are a non-prophet organization
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From my 92 year old uncle. “Times have changes so much, back in my day it was still perfectly fine to say black paint”.
Nowdays you are supposed to say “Would you please paint the fence Jamal”.