Jokes

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JOKESTER

This Stay at Home shit needs to end soon, today I took a nap simply to stop eating.

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Test

Test

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JOKESTER

Best part about coronavirus?

I can tell people to stay the fuck away from me and I’m not just being an asshole.

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JOKESTER

Her: “Why do men kneel when proposing?”

Me: ” They’re talking to the pussy not you…”

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JOKESTER

Similarities between Walt Disney and Pornhub.
– Hiring adults to act like teens.
– Have lots of family issues.
– Keep remaking similar content.
– Lots of teen users.
– Fun for the whole family.

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JOKESTER

My heart sank when I came home early and saw the plumbers van parked in our drive.

Thankfully though, he was in there fcuking my wife and there wasnt an expensive leak.

???

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JOKESTER

Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I’m a piece of meat…

….And it wouldn’t bother me, if she wasn’t a vegan.

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JOKESTER

Me: This weed is shit!!
( 15 minutes later) ” I never knew my dog speaks Spanish”!

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JOKESTER

We haven’t seen any porn on your phone in a couple of days….you okay?

~NSA

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JOKESTER

I don’t know who needs to hear this but….

shave your Valentines gift.