Jokes

why did god create the orgasm?
so women can still moan even when they’re happy.

Mom: Don’t make me count to three!
Me: Why? Is it to hard for you?

I ignored my doctor’s advice and ended up in hospital.
I maybe should have stopped banging his wife.

I just bought an answering machine and it doesn’t work. Or maybe I’m just asking it the wrong questions.

I’m absolutely awesome in bed…
Yesterday, I slept in until 2pm!!

The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

Diet Tip: Don’t visit your grandmother.

I learn from the mistakes of others who have taken my advise.

A boob, a vagina and an asshole are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. Boob: I give milk to new born babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I am the greatest. Vagina: That’s nothing, I give birth to babies and can accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I am the greatest.

Why are you scrolling down? It’s your turn to speak!

Some historians believe the word “Love” stems from an old Viking word meaning “Vagina”. With this in mind, lets take a look at some song titles and see how it changes their meaning.

1.) Sugababes – My Love is Pink
2.) Bee Gees – How Deep is Your Love? 3.) Elvis Presley – A Big Hunk of Love 4.) The Beatles – All You Need is Love 5.) Bellamy Brothers – Let Your Love Flow 6.) J Geils – Love Stinks 7.) Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love 8.) Barry White – Can’t Get Enough of Your Love.