Jokes

Misspelled words can sometime ruin your life. One man sent this text to his wife..”I’m having a great time, wish you were her.

Girl: My lips are so chapped!

Nerd: Well, it’s your own fault for wearing mini skirts in winter.

The following ad in The Atlanta Journal is reported to  have received numerous calls.

 SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.  I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play.  I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. 
Read More »interesting ad

Group sex…

For those not capable of getting the job done themselves!!

When I was a kid, we all played spin the bottle. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a penny.
By the time I was 16 I owned my own house.

The internet is a drug. You get on for 1 minute to check your Facebook, 4 hours later your pants are down by your ankles and you feel all awkward and lonely.

They say the Kindle Fire is the first tablet that allows you to communicate with the cloud.
I found I was able to communicate with both clouds and rainbows using LSD.

How is it that whenever I run over a cat it’s on it’s 9th life?

Standing on the street, I was telling a co worker about how the government plants surveillance devices in street equipment to watch us…
“That’s a fucking lie”, replied a lamp post.

“What’s the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland?”

“Well, the flag is a big plus!”