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What do you call it when Santa doesn’t bring you any gifts?
Hanukkah
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Mods gay
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A burglar stole all of my lamps.
I should be upset, But right now I’m delighted.
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Two old Jews are walking past a church
A sign out front reads, “Convert to Catholicism, get $20.”The first Jew keeps walking, but soon notices his friend has stopped to take a closer look at the sign.”You’re not actually thinking about doing that, are you?” he asks his friend.The second Jew turns back and says, “I don’t know, twenty dollars is twenty dollars.” He goes inside the Church, and comes back out about thirty minutes later.”So,” says the first Jew, “did you get the twenty dollars?”The second Jew turns to his friend and says, “Oy, is that all you people think about?”
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This is really creepy
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Yo mama’s so fat
I took me all four fingers to swipe left in tinder.
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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand by itself?
It was two tired
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Who did you accidentally see naked and what, if anything, was said afterwards?
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Why don’t Americans switch from pounds to killograms all at once?
Because it will cause mass confusion
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your slogan says “when you’re here, you’re family”
Olive Garden Waiter: Sir, I am not adding you to my will.
Jokes
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