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Jokes

  • Congratulations Donald Trump

    [removed]


  • I didn’t like my haircut when I first got it…

    But now it’s really starting to grow on me


  • What’s blue and fucks old ladies?

    Me in my lucky blue suit.Or hypothermia.


  • I have a joke about reddit coins

    but you won’t get it


  • AITA for telling a cross dressing teammate to suck it up and wear pants

    In our school is a Magnet Program created by an organization which for the sake of being anonymous I’m gonna call the Magnet, in the Magnet there is a team for each school and in this team we do a lot of things, debates, meetings, sales, and in the end of the year all the teams have to preform the creed and the team who does it the best goes home with a trophy and 1,000 dollars each memberI’m the Team President so besides our teacher I’m usually in charge, there is one member in my team who is a cross dressing guy, wears dresses and skirts and etc. and normally the school has no problem with it since all the debates we’ve had were usually organized by the school against other schools but this is on a whole new level there is a dress code for thisFemales have to wear the Jacket, and Black Skirts while males the Jacket and Black Pants. When our teacher informed us about this my teammate had a problem with it and said it was too heteronormative and that he won’t be doing the creed unless he can express himself. Our teacher said it’s best for us to work this out amongst ourselves or try and contact the Magnet itself.So when we had our meeting and it went like this“Look if I can’t wear the clothes that express me I won’t be doing the creed”I told him that I’ve been training all year for this and I wasn’t gonna give up for his selfish vendetta because we only have a couple options if you go with forward with this.A. He tries to contact the Magnet and fails because there’s not enough time before the creed.B. He quits and we get a half-asses replacement for his part and failor C. We can’t find a replacement and we get disqualified for not having all 6 membersSo suck it up and wear female pants if you wanna crossdress that badly.


  • Guys, do you want to know the secret to never pissing on the toilet seat?

    Urine luck.


  • I’ve been wanting to f**k a cactus for a while now

    but consent’s a prickly thing.


  • I heard you father was run over by a boat in Venice.

    My gondolences.


  • Really, Bleacher Report? I thought they had more wins than that…


  • Hard to swallow