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As a scientist, I finally reach the same achievement as Isaac Newton and Josiah Gibbs.
Being single and unmarried for whole life.
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What did the TV say to the other TV?
Hisense, I’m dad.
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what language do sheep and goat speak
bah dont know
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She won’t admit it, but I’m sure my wife’s favorite sex position is “trick-dog style.”
It’s where I sit up and beg, then she rolls over and plays dead.
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What did the monk say when he saw Jesus Christ’s face in his margarine?
“I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.”
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A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.””I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.””Wow! That’s a great idea!” he exclaimed. “Good,” she replied. “Get your own damn blanket!” After a moment of silence, he farted.
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I love how much the person who did the closed captions obviously hates mayor booties
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RIP
r/memes•Posted byu/JTLYSOH8 hours ago3How about no (and he waddled away)
14.9k points59 comments
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Thanks guys!
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Ugly sweater parties have come so popular that the sweaters look cool now, not ugly.
Jokes
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