My next door neighbors Smart car’s battery died…
I had to give him a jumpstart from my iPod.
Cell phones are a distraction while driving.
Says cops with radios, dash cams, laptops, cell phones, radars and donuts.
“Welshman saves sheep by giving it the kiss of life”
….Thats the exact same thing I would have said to someone if I got caught getting it on with a sheep.
They call me Mr. Rhetorical. Can you guess why?
I couldn’t buy perfume this week so I rubbed a magazine on my shirt. When people ask ” What’s that heavenly smell?”
I say “Page six.”
Don’t complain about your job to the lady waxing your vagina.
Never lie to a smart woman!
Never Lie to a smart woman…
A man called home to his wife & said, “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in Canada with my boss & friends… We’ll be gone for a week.. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion i’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week,set out my rod & fishing box . We’re leaving from office & I will swing by the house to pick my things .. Oh and Please pack my new blue silk pajamas..” The wife thinks about this, being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.. (more…)
I don’t think the milf next door watches enough porn. She asked me to come over and fix her sink..it’s been 20 minutes and I’m still fixing her sink..