Jokes

My wife said that I have no discretion…
What do you guys think?

“How to break up with your girlfriend” A two-step process:
Step 1: take off your glasses
Step 2: say: ‘I’m afraid I can’t see you anymore!’

This morning I went to a meeting for my ‘premature ejaculator support group.’u

Trns out, it was tomorrow.

Me and the girlfriend went to the restaurant for the first time in ages.
The Waiter said, I am sorry but we are so busy tonight.
Would you mind waiting for a bit? I said no problem.
He said well take these drinks to table. 10.

After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter’s eye. “I want a bottle of your best wine,” he ordered.
“What year?” asked the waiter.
“Right now!” bellowed the tourist.

I don’t know what “procrastinate” means.
I think I’ll look it up later.

What’s the perfect date?
DD-MM-YYYY is the most logical to me

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.
Fortunately, I had another two lives.

Just watched an interesting documentary on cocaine…
Going to watch all documentaries this way now!

I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s today.
The parents called the manager.