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What do you call a mexican on a trampoline?
A jumping bean.
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What do you call a fat terrorist?
Osama Bin-Lard
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Driving the Kids to School
Son: “Dad, what’s and alcoholic?”Dad: “Son, do you see those 4 cars ahead of us? An alcoholic would see 8.”Son: But, dad there’s only 2.”
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A Viking by the name of Rudolph the Red looked out his window.
He turns to his wife and says, Bring the little ones inside, it looks like its going to be a wet day. His wife says “why do you say that” he looks at her and says “Because Rudolph the red Knows Rain Dear”(Merry Christmas You Filthy Animals)
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Feeling amorous after a difficult day…
…the President hops into bed next to the first lady.She immediately lets out a shriek. “Christ!!! Your feet are cold!!!”He chuckles and replies “That’s OK honey…You can just call me Donald when we’re in bed.”
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After sending me a “free” Pixel 3aXL, Visible wrote to me asking to return my dead phone.
Wonder how’ll they’ll feel when I tell them my old phone is in a recycle bin somewhere. Should they have mentioned that they’d be wanting the dead phone back? What do you think they’ll do about it since I can’t return something I no longer have?
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Ah my favourite movie
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VPNs are like Condoms
One leak and you could end up sentenced to at least 18 years.
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What did Donald Trump say to the guy who kept calling him an Orange?
I’m not an Orange.. Impeach.
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So when a girl tells her friend she has a great ass in that jeans it’s okay,
But when I tell my buddy the same thing I am ‘being inappropriate’ and I ‘should really close the coffin now’. The world we live in
Jokes
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