Jokes

Anal sex keeps my wife in shape. Every time I just mention it and she runs a mile from me

– Who are you?
– Sleeping beauty!
– Why are you so ugly?
– I just woke up!

They told me I have to do sexual harassment training at work
Which is ridiculous, I’m already very good at it.

A husband, wracked with guilt finally confesses to his wife……”dear, when I have sex with you, I often think of other women!”
“You bastard!” she cried “When I have sex with other men, I only think of you!”

A politician who had been dating a woman decides to investigate her background before proposing. So he hires a private detective to snoop on her. Sometime later, the detective sends his report.
“The lady comes from a decent family, has a great job and a flawless character. The only issue is that she has recently been dating a politician with a shady reputation.”

After a long night of frenzied, hot and passionate love making, a guy notices a photo of another man on the woman’s bedside table.
He starts to worry.
“Is that your husband?” he asked nervously.
“No silly!” She replied, snuggling up to him
“Your boyfriend then?” he continues
“No, not at all!” She replied…..nibbling his ear..
“Your brother or you father?” he asks, looking for reassurance.
“No no no, oh baby, you’re so sexy when you get jealous!” She replied sliding her hand across his chest and heading down south
“Well who is he?” The guy demanded
She looked him in his eyes tenderly and leaned down towards his ear and she gently whispered
“That’s me, before the surgery!”

I was hoping after coronavirus….
… there would be no more monkey business.

If you don’t know the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist…
congratulations, you’re doing great!

How does every Mexican joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.

There is a cure for nymphomania, but it’s expensive.
It can be cheap, but most people want a big ceremony, open bar at the reception, etc.