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Jokes

  • everything

    Our little girl is growing up! Monica Lewinsky turned 50 recently.

    It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth.

  • good signal

    Just as I was thinking that technology ruined the art of conversation, my date looked up at me and smiled.

    “This is a fantastic restaurant,” she said. “The WiFi signal is brilliant.”

  • how

    “Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” -How ballet was invented.

  • taste

    I have good taste I just don’t have the money to prove it!

  • who is first?

    If their a pic of the making of the world’s first camera. Which camera took the pic of the world’s first camera?

  • band

    What is a Jehovah’s witness favorite band? The Doors.

  • anything

    Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says “if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new….”

    “anything” doesn’t include getting stuck in traffic.

  • too honest

    My husband and I went for marriage counseling this morning. The counselor told me I need to be more open with him about what I want in bed.

    Apparently, “Someone else” isn’t an acceptable answer.

  • harder

    We’re at the age in our life when the wife says, “Dave, I want it harder!”
    I reply, “Ok babe, what’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”

  • job

    Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.