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Jokes

  • Do it

    The old saying is that if you want something done right, do it yourself. This shouldn’t apply to sex.

  • Could you tell

    Have you heard about a computer virus which fills your internet history with hundreds of pornographic websites, then plants a folder somewhere on your hard drive containing over 5Gb of carefully-catalogued explicit images and videos?

    If you have, please, could you tell my wife that one definitely exists?

  • Q&A

    What do you call a caring, considerate and gifted man?

    A Myth.

  • Improvement

    What’s the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital?
    At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out.

  • Yes

    A man walks into a library.

    “Yes we do,” says the librarian.

    “Do you have any books about mind reading?” asks the man.

  • Bad luck

    Just my luck — judging by the itching and the rash, I think I’m allergic to prostitutes…

  • Backup

    And then the God said:
    “Noah, make a backup. I’m going to format”

  • Crop

    Self esteem so low, you crop yourself out of your selfie.

  • Protection

    I’ve been hiding from exercise….I’m in the fitness protection program.

  • Never

    I don’t know how to act my age,
    because I have never been this old before!