Skip to content

Jokes

  • TIFU by not knowing how to talk to sad people

    Warning, this isn’t a happy post this has a sort of good ending but it’s not happy also obligatory happened yesterday not today’sMy friend invited me to a party because it was to bring a date, so after school we went and it was going well until eventually she kinda started looking visibly sad funny thing is I’m really good at telling people’s emotions and having no idea how to deal with themSo I tried to just joke around and brush it off but eventually she broke down in front of me, everyone else was too loud and annoying to notice so I walked outside with her to find out she hasn’t been eating lately so I held her for a while and told her to wait a minute and I brought her some stuff to eat and asked her if she would be ok with just eating while I sat next to her and talked, idk I guess I thought she would be more comfortable with it, but it workedI feel like if I was a better communicator I could just help her better, but I’m shit soTL;DR by not knowing how to talk to sad people and having my anorexic friend break down in front of me.

  • Foucault: Schools serve the same social functions as prisons and hospitals

    Foucault’s mother: You’re still going.

  • What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

    The polar bear.

  • Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper

    One of them notices that the other’s paper is from a really antisemite organization and basically a pure antisemitic propaganda”What the hell are you reading? Why don’t you read our jewish papers?””You see Chaim” the other man says calmly “When I read our newspapers all I see are pogroms, antisemitic hate crimes and it’s just depressing and scary, here on the other hand” he says while showing his friend the frontpage ” I’m apparently a masterminded banker, have millions in secret accounts and even rule the whole world!”

  • My girlfriend said we need to spend more quality time together.

    So I bought her a tea set and a koala and said wtf are we supposed to do now?

  • A son asks his father what is the meaning of “in practice” and “in theory”

    “Il show you son. Call your sister.” Says the father”Daughter would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?” Asks the father”Yes of course, that is a once in a life time opportunity!” Answers the daughter”Okay son now call your grandmother” Says the father”Grandma would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?” Asks the father”Yes I would! I would do it for you so the family can thrive financially!” Answers the grandmother”Okay son now call your mother” Says the father”Wife, would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?” Asks the father”Yes! We could buy a bigger house and have loads of vacations!” Answers the motherThe father looks at his son and responds “See son, in theory, we are millionaires but in practice 3 whores live in our house!”

  • T-Boned by a Police Officer who was placed at fault for the crash the city attorney denied my claim both medical and property what are my options now?

    As I said above in October a police officer ran a red light tboning me and one other driver. No lights were seen or sirens heard by anyone. I need to know some options that might make results quicker then a long drawn out legal battle. Also it’s not an option to go through my insurance so please don’t suggest it.

  • Hab nem Kollegen nen Limonadenwitz erzählt

    Den Fanta lustig

  • Looking for an active clan with decent/above average/competitive ranges players to play with.

    Seriously. All these recommended clans are super inactive and the players are generally Rookie IV or something. I need better teammates for ranked. (Am Pro II (rank protection atm though), ign Iltoid)

  • No it is not