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picture

I was going to buy some Viagra when the cashier asked what I needed it for…. Without saying anything I whipped out a picture of my wife.

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resolution

New Years Resolution:
-Date more models.
-(Revised) Date more girls.
-(Re-revised) Date a girl. -(Re-re-revised) Talk to a girl. -(Re-re-re-revised) Find a girl. -(Re-re-re-re-revised) Cry less while masturbating.

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A dick is like cement…Wet it, and it gets hard.

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home alone

I’ve been on vacation all week, with the house to myself. I think my penis just filled a restraining order against my hand.

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mall

I just realized why they call it “The mall”.
Instead of going to one store just go to “them all”
Them all =The Mall.
Clever.

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side effects

Why are there never any good side effects? Just once… I’d like to read a prescription bottle that says “May Cause Multiple Orgasms”

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i was planned

triznaci

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angry taxpayers

angrytaxpayers

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respond

Life turns to death and asks “Why do people love me and hate you?” Death slowly responds “This is a joke site, stop posting meaningless sentimental bullshit, asshole”

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Instead of calling it “real life” we should just call it “offline”