Jokes

Onion rings are Vegetarian donuts

I lost my Pizza cutter so I used my Bryan Adams Cd..
Cuts Like a Knife

Tequila: Liquid that won’t change your life but it’s worth a shot.

Doctor : at first glance it appears that you have a gunshot wound to the chest, but we’ll have to run a Covid test to be sure…

I exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what the hell I’m doing

Does anyone know a cure for sex addiction?
I’ve tried fucking everything

I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia.
I told them I could explain everything.

Two men are robbing a liquor store…
One says, ‘Is this whisky?’

‘Yes’, the other replies, ‘but not as whisky was wobbing a bank’

My doctor told me I have to give up half my sex life.
I asked which half, thinking about it or talking about it?

Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn’t go very well.
Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese.