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Jokes

  • cleaning

    The only thing that men are good at cleaning are the Browser History. 


  • viagra

    Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.


  • no addiction

    After beating my gambling addiction for the last 8 months, I’ve decided to treat myself to a vacation with the money I’ve saved.

    Las Vegas here I come!


  • watching you

    watching-you


  • like dog

    WHAT IS IT BOY!!?? DID YOU SEE SOMETHING???

    -Me talking to my penis when I get a random boner.


  • point

    Why do people point at their wrist when they ask what time it is? I don’t point to my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is.


  • swap

    I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations…


  • not using

    Dear MTV,
    I was wondering if I could get my “M” back…. you know, since you’re not using it.
    Sincerely, -usic


  • lawyer

    *Me as a lawyer*
    “Guiltypersonsayswhat?”
    “what?”
    “Your honor, I rest my case.”


  • transformation

    Relationships are weird. “you’re funny and smart” eventually turns to “you think you know everything and everything is a joke to you”.