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cleaning
The only thing that men are good at cleaning are the Browser History.
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viagra
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
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no addiction
After beating my gambling addiction for the last 8 months, I’ve decided to treat myself to a vacation with the money I’ve saved.
Las Vegas here I come!
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watching you
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like dog
WHAT IS IT BOY!!?? DID YOU SEE SOMETHING???
-Me talking to my penis when I get a random boner.
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point
Why do people point at their wrist when they ask what time it is? I don’t point to my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is.
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swap
I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations…
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not using
Dear MTV,
I was wondering if I could get my “M” back…. you know, since you’re not using it.
Sincerely, -usic
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lawyer
*Me as a lawyer*
“Guiltypersonsayswhat?”
“what?”
“Your honor, I rest my case.”
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transformation
Relationships are weird. “you’re funny and smart” eventually turns to “you think you know everything and everything is a joke to you”.
Jokes
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