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Jokes

  • my mouth

    I told my wife “Everybody thinks I’m too sarcastic.”
    “What makes you say that?” she asked.

    I said “My mouth.”

  • anything

    What do you say toa girl who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
    Anything she wants to hear.

  • style

    my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow.

  • it’s complicated

    I had to change my relationship status on facebook to “It’s complicated” after breaking my right hand.

  • sense of humour

    I came home today to find my wife on ebay again.
    My kids have a weird sense of humor.

  • no excuse

    people with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.

  • True

    I called my boss to tell him I wasn’t coming to work this morning saying “My car won’t start.” He asked “What about the bus?”
    ” I don’t have a bus” I replied.

  • conversation

    -Shhhh
    -Shhhh
    -Shhhh
    -Shhhh A conversation between a cobra and a librarian.

  • wanna play

    “Truth or Dare” “Truth” “Whats your credit card number?”

  • prank

    Thing that cracks up all the time…
    ( it works 🙂
    Next time you are in a car with a friend, and you pull up to a red light. Look at the guy in the car next to you, roll down your window really fast (like you want to talk to him), and when the guy rolls HIS window down look at him and yell…..
    “Oh, did you fart too?”