Jokes

If your girl can’t cook and you cheat on her with a girl that can, then it’s not cheating…
That’s called survival

There are only 5 things we need in life:
Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _uck. Whatever you are thinking… Is right!

The leaning tower of Pisa is in Italy. Therefore, it’s simply…Italicized.

My girlfriend has no interest in my personality, has no desire to ever get to know the ‘real’ me and her only goal in life is to use me as a means to have sex…
I think I love her.

Guys get erections every morning, the concept of “morning” varies depending on where you live, with the “morning line” basically spinning around the earth infinitely.
So basically, the humanity has been doing a “boner wave” around the earth for hundreds of thousands of years.

“Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it’s endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective”

“You’re still late” replied my boss.

Dad: Son, you better pass that exam today or else forget me as your father!
Son: Sure, whatever Dad.

*5 Hours later* Dad: So, how’d you do on your exam? Son: Who the fuck are you?

Two newlywed go on their honeymoon. As things start to get hot and heavy, The woman says, “Please be careful with me I’m a virgin.” The puzzled man replies, “But you’ve been married 3 times before.” “Read More »Miss him

Has anyone got a phone number for the Ghostbusters? I think I may have a poltergeist.
I came in from work early and I heard my wife screaming, “Oh my God! Oh my God!”
I quickly ran upstairs and she was covered head to foot in ectoplasm and the wardrobe doors wouldn’t stop trembling…

All Samsung officials are withdrawing their children from school, as the first thing children are being taught is: A is for Apple.