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Jokes

  • @Declan

    My wife bites her lip to look sexy……….

    I just don’t have the heart to tell her you’re meant to bite the bottom lip.

  • My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a weatherman
    I forecast 6+ inches lasting for a couple of hours. It ends up being less then 4” and is over in 2 minutes.

  • Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?
    Because she wanted to see the task manager

  • Once you start buying cheap brakes…..
    You won’t be able to stop

  • We thought it was our ability to love that made us human,
    but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK

  • a new drink at the bar

    A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him a glass of “Less.” “Less?” I’ve never heard of it,” the bartender replies. “Is it a foreign drink or something?” “I don’t have any idea,” the guy says. “My doctor told me about it. He said I should try drinking Less.”

  • Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th booster you get a free pizza…

    Provided you’re still alive.

  • How many politicians does it take to solve a problem?

    Trick question, nobody knows, because it’s never happened.

  • Australia said: “No one can come without vaccination”.
    Djokovic understood: “No 1 can come without vaccination”.

  • After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the basics. Like how to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself, and how not to argue with me at the top of the stairs… again.

    izmir escort